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What do you say when a person who is supposed to be close to you just pushes you away? Oh wait, I've been there before. My husband did that too. He married me then hung out with his friends showing me who he prefered to spend all his time with and left me sitting alone. So it should come as no great surprize that it was done by a close friend as well. Should come as no surprize that as I do for these people out of love they show me how very little they reguard me. But then that's nothing new either, it's been a life long thing starting with my parents, and sister. Biding me come near when it is convient for them, when they want something or expect something and then slapping me in the face and turning me away.
And so again and again the dance is done over and over looking for acceptance and love and never getting it. Yes now that my mother is gone I am a rare commodity in that home, but I would be turned away if she were there. I am convenient as something to use, til I need something or someone. And then I am left again. Alone, sad, used up and spent.